


Here's a Moment Out of Time

by Snow



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Character of Color, Dating, F/M, Wartime Romance, being young, weight of memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-13
Updated: 2010-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-07 05:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snow/pseuds/Snow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezri and Jake aren't ones to let circumstances define them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's a Moment Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lydia (lydiabell)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiabell/gifts).



> For Lydia, who won me in the help_haiti auction.
> 
> Thank to Cedara and quin for glancing over this. Any errors which remain are my own.

"Do you want to dance?"

Jake laughs and looks around Quark's. "Don't you think Vic's would be more appropriate for that?" he says.

Ezri laughs, a delightfully free noise. She leans forward to whisper: "That's why it would be more fun to do it here." She leans back. "If you're up to it," she says in a normal volume.

Jake sees what she's doing even as he gives in. "I suppose I can manage a dance." He winks at her as he stands.

"You're too kind."  


* * *

In some ways, Ezri thinks she's more mature than Jadzia was. She tends to think things through more, and leap to conclusions less. She's more cautious. Which is why she's standing outside the door of Benjamin's quarters, hesitating. "Don't be silly, Ezri," she says out loud (and she fully admits that in some ways she's markedly less mature than Jadzia).

She pushes the chime, and only has to wait a couple of seconds for him to answer. "You wanted to speak to me?" she asks, and it's tempting to let the more confident memories/personality/being of Jadzia guide her actions, but it's not like that would actually help.

"Jake informs me that he went on a date with you last night."

"Really, Benjamin? And what pressure did you put him under to have him say?"

"No pressure, old man."

Ezri attempts to raise a single eyebrow, but she can't. (Torias would have been able to.)

"He asked for my advice on flowers."

Ezri shakes her head. "He did not."

Benjamin grins at her. "You called my bluff. The point of the matter is, doesn't it feel a little odd for you to be dating my _son_?"

"That's not how it works," she says. "I'm more Ezri than I am anyone else, including Jadzia and Curzon. I'm glad we can build our friendship off the base you started with them, but that's not going to get in the way of who I actually am."

"And I don't expect it to. I'm not actually trying to hassle you."

"Mm hmm." Now she _really_ wishes she could raise an eyebrow.

"I actually just wanted to let you know that."

"I hadn't expected anything less from you, Benjamin."

"Well, good. And about the flowers?"

Ezri laughs. "Broadway lilies."

"Really?"

"They grow native on New Sydney. Or, well. Native's a weird word. Wild. They grow wild on New Sydney. Though any kind of lily is totally acceptable. Or any flowers in general. Except lilacs. Can't stand the smell."

"Ezri."

"Right. I'll go now."

"Don't break his heart."

Ezri frowns. "Tell him not to break mine."  


* * *

"For all the experiences I've had, I don't really know what it's like to live a life unjoined. Lela was the closest I had to that, and the world's changed so much since her." Ezri sets her drink down. "I don't know. I wouldn't say I'm upset to be joined, or to be here, or anything. But it feels like I don't really have much control over my life at the moment. I'm sorry, I'm blathering."

Jake smiles at her. "I asked."

"Then can I ask a question that I probably know the answer to, but want to hear your words anyway?"

Jake shrugs. "Sure. Long as you promise not to go Starfleet counselor on what I say."

"Never," Ezri promises.  


* * *

"I think I'm done, but I'd be happy to answer any questions you have for me," Ezri says. It's become her tradition to end counseling sessions this way. Ezri thinks it makes them feel less like interrogations.

"I thought you were interested in Dr. Bashir." Miles O'Brien says it like it's more than his impression, like it's fact.

Ezri shrugs. She knows she would be well within her rights to call this conversation outside the limits of what she's willing to discuss, but Miles is Julian's friend, he clearly cares for the other man. "There's a reason the Symbiosis Commission _discourages_ future hosts of formerly associated symbionts from reconnecting."

"But you and Julian weren't really anything when you were Jadzia."

_When I was Jadzia_, Ezri thinks. _What an odd way of putting it._ Because, of course, she has memories from what she thinks as _from before I had Jadzia_. "No, but we could have been. When I returned here, as me, I made the mistake of thinking that was what I wanted. Which is maybe for the best that it isn't. I mean. Jake is more _me_. So even if Julian were available, I don't think we're actually well-suited."

"Oh?" Miles says, like he's waiting for a story on Julian's availability, but it's not Ezri's story to tell. "Then good luck with your relationship with Jake."

Ezri makes herself smile, though the well wishes from everyone who cared about Jadzia just make her feel more pressure not to mess anything up. When really, it's her right (well, hers and Jake's) to mess things up if they want to, or if they think it's necessary. Not that she does, or that Jake does, but a part of her wants the station staff to stop having to feel that they have to look after her.

Ezri might be less experienced than Jadzia, but that's because she's not Jadzia. It's not a bad thing.  


* * *

"How long will you be gone?"

Ezri looks at Jake. "Your father would know better than I do."

Jake shrugs. "I didn't ask him. I asked you."

Ezri leans forward, kissing him. "I don't know," she says as she steps back. "I promise to write, though."

Jake's worry gives way to a half smile, but it's better than nothing. "Now you know you have to, right?"

"Sure thing," she says.

"I don't understand why the Defiant needs a Counselor," he admits.

Ezri shrugs. "Think about it," she says.

"But everything seems like it happens so quickly on the Defiant. Even if people wanted to talk about things, when would they find the time?"

"Even ships like the Defiant spend a lot of time in transit."

Jake nods.  


* * *

Ezri didn't date much growing up: too many people just wanted near her for the status her family had, and her brothers were too protective. So while she has experience, most of it is Lela's, Jadzia's or Emony's, rather than her own.

But even with the help of her eight previous hosts (well, seven, Ezri doesn't want to see what Joran's idea of a love letter would look like), Jake writes much better letters than Ezri does. It's the only reason she muddles through her attempts (though she usually writes the letters before she leaves, because it's when she has time): they mean she gets to see the stories and ideas he sends.  


* * *

"Being joined must be so odd," Jake says.

Ezri laughs and clasps his fingers as they walk around the promenade. "You can say that again."

"What's it really like, though?" he asks. "If you don't mind saying."

"I don't mind, though I don't know how well I can describe it. I don't have the gift with words you do."

"Sure you do," Jake says, letting go of her hand to allow Ezri to freely gesture with it.

Ezri grins at him, weirdly flattered. "Do your characters ever 'speak' to you?" she asks suddenly, instead of the usual explanation she gives. "Like, you're just sitting in the promenade and Garak bumps into you. He says something sufficiently cryptic. And maybe you say 'Pardon me', but you also know how one of your characters would respond. Not in an abstract way, but what the character would say just appears in your head?"

Jake nods. "Yes, definitely."

"That's a lot like what it is. I don't think through 'what would Emony say to this', I just know it."

"Oh," says Jake. "That makes sense."

"And it's not all the time. Right now, for instance, either no one has anything to say or they're not bothering to say it. In addition to that, I also have access to their memories, and better access to my own memories than I used to. I can, for instance, now tell you the first book I read on my own."

Jake looks interested, and Ezri grins at him.

"Eliysa Tames a Targ."

"That sounds more like something Curzon would read," Jake says.

Ezri shrugs. " I _can't_ verbatim quote you the story, but I'm pretty sure she tames it with the power of caring and compassion or something. So really not a Curzon type of story."

Jake laughs. "Fair enough."  


* * *

"My dad wants you to have dinner with us when you can," Jake says. He doesn't know why the idea makes him as nervous as it does: Dad and Ezri talk all the time as it is.

Ezri laughs. "I haven't finalized my schedule for next week yet - I think there's supposed to be a ship in from the front lines on Wednesday or Thursday, so I'll probably be free Tuesday. Or, well, Benjamin would know before I do the actual schedule."

"It's okay with you?"

"Why not?" Ezri shrugs. "If you'd rather not, that's fine, but your father is a more reasonable man than he pretends to be sometimes. I'm sure he won't embarrass you too much."

"I wish," Jake mutters.  


* * *

"Old man, so nice of you to join us," Benjamin says as she enters. He's out of uniform, and it's been a while since she's seen him as such. She would wonder if it's a sign of distance, except she knows everyone's been so stressed lately, and that even when they take off the uniform it still looms over them.

"Please, call me Ezri," she says.

Benjamin laughs. Jake appears from the kitchen, and shakes his head subtly (but not subtly enough for Ezri not to notice it) at his father.

"So what makes you think you're good enough to date my son?" Benjamin asks.

Ezri can easily tell he's joking, or that he means to be. "I think I make him happy," she says instead of laughing him off (like she would if she were Jadzia) or curling into a ball (like she would if she were Tobin).

Jake smiles at her shyly, and Ezri grins back. She steps forward to embrace him, which he clearly isn't expecting. "You make me happy too," she whispers into his ear.

**Author's Note:**

> I welcome and appreciate all kinds of comments, though I would (obviously) prefer if any criticism was constructive. :)


End file.
